Change

Since I married my husband in 2015, moved to the Middle East, then repatriated back to Canada in 2019 – I feel as if I’ve lived a lifetime within these four fabulous years – because there was so much change.

It wasn’t easy.

At times, I felt like I was hanging on by my fingernails – starting with my relationship as my husband and I didn’t really know each other when we married – we took a leap of faith.

Our transition from long-distance relationship to person-to-person relationship basically started when we married in Canada, then I joined him in expat life in Qatar.

This change for me was: new relationship, first time married, new country, new culture, new friends, then, eventually a new job as I recreated my life there. Every aspect of my life was new, even understanding the currency, getting my driver’s license, and what I was allowed to wear.

I’ve started my life over a few times, but this was by far the most challenging because so many aspects of this life were unfamiliar to me as I navigated a country in the Middle East.

Since we’ve repatriated back to Canada – these past two years have been a constant cycle of change as we tackle a continual list of logistics to create our life together in Nova Scotia.

Photo Credit – Countryliving.com

Fluidity – Going With the Flow

This is a key element for successful transition through change. There are other elements such as planning and organization, however nothing in life ever runs smoothly. This life lesson is a truth. Even when I think I’ve planned and organized, tried to wrap my head around something – something else pops up that becomes another problem to solve.

Which, when one lives with anxiety like I do, can start to hardwire the brain to be constantly running “what if”scenarios. Well, in my case, amplify it. Using the tools of meditation and mindfulness, I’ve been successful in my ability to step back and observe my “what-ifs” anxiety. This has revealed an underlying feeling of powerlessness – not feeling in control of life.

Feeling not in control of my life is this uncomfortable path of shifting from an all-or-nothing, fear based, self-preservation mindset to honoring what I need to feel safe as I navigate change and be able to go with the flow. This experience feels like sifting through layers of irrational fears to get to the root of the issue – to finally hear my truth of what I need to feel safe, empowered and in control of my life during change.

I literally have to process – observe the fears triggered within me – ride it out without judgement – to hear my truth.

Easy, this is not.

My husband and I are about to begin a new chapter in our lives of starting to develop our property and build our home together. Our lives will be totally focused/consumed with this dream project where so many things can go right, and so many things can go wrong.

Changing and adapting to whatever presents before us, as we begin this project, will be a constant.

According to this quote, supposedly said by Albert Einstein, Michael and I’s intelligence can be measured by our ability to change. I’m not sure what I think about this – because my ability to go with the flow depends on how triggered I am by the change and how powerless and unsafe I feel because of it. However, I do see a truth in this because life is constantly changing – and our ability to adapt and change with life will depend if we survive or not. Think species and evolution.

Think – the entire world is adapting to change right now because of COVID.

There is skill involved in transitioning from feeling powerless to empowered. Even recognizing that I feel powerless is a step in awareness towards change.

Photo Credit – Graciousquotes.com

Acceptance & Empowerment

Accepting change can take time or sometimes it is easy to accept. For me, it depends on how strong the trigger of feeling of powerlessness is brought on by change. How do I transition successfully with something that feels out of my control into something I can control? From powerlessness to empowered?

Using mindfulness and meditation, as well as my daily running routine, and soaking in hot bubble baths, allows me space to lean into my processing the change – to evolve my thoughts and actions from powerlessness to empowered. This processing allows me the ability to discover what I need to feel safe during any change and feel empowered while navigating it.

I come through the other side feeling stronger, grounded. Feeling like I’m honoring me.

Photo Credit – lovehappensmag.com

Alcohol Free and CBD

I also take CBD.

I have a history of alcohol addiction. This was once my go-to for helping me cope with change, uncertainty, fears – my anxiety. Or my go-to to celebrate and relax. It’s raining – let’s drink some wine. I had a bad day at work – drink wine. I had a great day at work – drink wine.

I could never have just one glass of wine – it was always a bottle.

Now that I’ve removed alcohol from my life, and have truly transformed my life into a healthy lifestyle, processing my anxiety has become more challenging because I’m facing it – and easier with the calming effects of CBD. More and more, I realize just how helpful CBD is for me. My anxiety comes and go in waves. Somedays I have it. Other days not so much – depends on the trigger. When anxiety hits hard – CBD calms the reactive side effects of panic and powerlessness – to have the ability to actually implement meditative and mindfulness tools – to observe the anxiety and step into it without completely getting lost in it, then back out again. This meditative and mindfulness ability with CBD didn’t happen overnight. It’s been slowly evolving since I started taking it, over a year ago.

Impermanence

Photo Credit – Pinterest

Life is forever in motion. Jedi Master Yoda, says it right when he states that the future is always in motion. Everything changes. That is why living as best as I can in the now and transitioning through change with as much empowerment and grace as possible, will allow me to feel in control of my life. I can then surf the waves of life with a bit more ease and not feel so blown around like a leaf in a windstorm when change happens.

My husband Michael says that everything except the Laws of Nature are impermanent. Everything else is conditioned and subject to change – absolutely everything.

I guess this is what makes being human so challenging – our need to hold onto something and not embrace change.

But, there is so much possibility with change….

Photo Credit – AZQuotes

Change = Possibilities

Making changes opens up the doorway to Possibilities. To Dream. To Expand. To Grow.

Photo Credit – PictureQuotes.com

So Here We Are…

We risked, we changed, we grew, we struggled, we argued, we loved… into so many possibilities… together… 🌼

S, 💛

Originally published: May 22nd, 2021

55 Rules For Love:

Study Of “The 55 Rules For Love”

55 Rules For Love – Rule #1 – When It Arrives, Cherish It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #2 – Whatever You Accept, You Will Get

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 3 – Understand That Love Is A Mirror – It Will Show Us Who We Are If We Allow It To

55 Rules For Love – Rule #4 – Only We Can Make Ourselves Happy, It Is Not The Other Person’s Responsibility

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 5 – Don’t Say Words With The Intent To Hurt

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 6 – Accept And Forgive Easily

55 Rules For Love – Rule #7 – Don’t Be Scared To Disagree, It Is Healthy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #8 – Never Be Too Busy For Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #9 – Do Not Punish

55 Rules For Love – Rule #10 – Accept Honest Criticism, It Is Good For Us

55 Rules For Love – Rule #11 – Admit When You Are Wrong, Quickly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #12 – Support Each Other When The Going Gets Tough

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 13 – Live In The Moment – Be Present

55 Rules For Love – Rule #14 – Leave The Past Where It Belongs

55 Rules For Love – Rule #15 – Leave Drama Out Of It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #16 – Don’t Try To Control

55 Rules For Love – Rule #17 – Allow A Small Amount of Jealousy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons

55 Rules For Love – Rule #19 – Celebrate Differences

55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #21 – Listen Very Carefully

55 Rules For Love – Rule #22 – Don’t Judge

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 23 – Don’t Manipulate To Get Results

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 24 – Learn and Grow

55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #26 – Don’t Condemn Each Other’s Family and Friends

55 Rules For Love – Rule #27 – Lines, Flaws and Imperfections are Beautiful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #28 – Trust Your Instincts, But Don’t Be Paranoid

55 Rules For Love – Rule #29 – Don’t Compromise Your Morals And Values And Don’t Expect Them To Either

55 Rules For Love – Rule #30 – Instead of Power, Aim For Balance

55 Rules for Love – Rule #31 – Space Is Needed To Breathe And To Grow

55 Rules for Love – Rule #32 – Accept That You Are Both Unique – Never Compare

55 Rules For Love – Rule #33 – Have Fun, Laugh and Play – A Lot

55 Rules For Love – Rule #34 – Be Each Other’s Best Friend

55 Rules For Love – Rule #35 – Don’t Play Mind Games

55 Rules For Love – Rule #36 – Do Not Carelessly Throw Away Love

55 Rules For Love – Rule #37 – Don’t Waste Energy With Negative Thoughts

55 Rules For Love – Rule #38 – Compliment Often

55 Rules For Love – Rule #39 – Discover Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #40 – Be Attentive And Understand What’s Not Said

55 Rules For Love – Rule #41 – Do At Least One Romantic And Thoughtful Thing Every Day

55 Rules For Love – Rule #42 – Take Picnics And Sleep Under The Stars

55 Rules For Love – Rule #43 – Don’t Just Speak About It, Show Love

55 Rules For Love – Rule #44 – Walk Together, Cook Together, Bathe Together, Read Together

55 Rules For Love – Rule #45 – Do Not Be Afraid, Love Requires Surrender

55 Rules For Love – Rule #46 – Be Loyal And Faithful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #47 – Trust

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 48 – Be Grateful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #49 – Fluidity Is Good, Accept Change

55 Rules For Love – Rule #50 – Don’t Sleep On A Fight

55 Rules For Love – Rule #51 – Don’t Cling To It, Know When To Let Go

55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Discover What Turns You Both On And Explore It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Make Love, But Also F*ck (Regularly)

55 Rules For Love – Rule #54 – Give And Receive Without Measure

55 Rules For Love – Rule #55 – Never Gamble With What You Can’t Afford To Lose