This Morning…

As I lay in bed processing this Rule #41, I asked my husband Michael his thoughts on it.

Our conversation evolved into determining the difference between complimenting each other, and what a romantic gesture is compared to being thoughtful.

Complimenting each other is its own rule, Rule #38 – Compliment Often.

Romance and thoughtfulness are very close to complimenting each other – as compliments can be romantic and thoughtful – but there is a difference.

The difference is that romantic and thoughtful things are actions – actions of love.

Romantic Things

Michael and I immediately agreed that a romantic thing is a passionate, intimate gesture.

It doesn’t have to be a large gesture like sprinkling rose petals over an entire room, with a thousand lit candles casting a warm romantic glow while giving each other body massages.

This Rule #41 is an everyday thing.

Planning an evening of romantic body massages takes a lot of energy.

After a long week at work, and a never-ending to-do list on the weekend, romantic gestures of that scale are saved for weekend getaways – where hotel staff do the cooking, serve the meals and do the cleaning! This allows us the energy needed to spend a few hours rolling around in massage oil!

We searched for examples in our every day life of how we are romantic with each other. It took a bit of brainstorming – because, honestly – we are both conditioned to think of romance as those large, sweeping gestures one tends to watch in movies.

However, we soon realized how we offer each other romantic gestures on a daily basis. Be it sending each other “I LoveYou” Bitmoji text messages, snuggling before we fall asleep, and our usual morning routine before we start our day… *wink wink*

Thoughtful Things

This was easier to find examples of.

To be thoughtful is to be considerate of each other’s needs.

Michael is spending his days designing our home. A few of his daily thoughtful things are: as he designs the house he considers and includes small nuances that are important to me, cleaning up after himself during the day so I don’t have to clean up after him when I arrive home from work, and after a stressful workday, greeting me with a much needed supportive hug when I walk through the door.

A few of my daily thoughtful things are: bringing Michael his morning coffee in bed, making sure he takes his daily vitamins, and that there are ready to eat healthy meals for him in the fridge when he takes a break during the day.

Love in Action

Love is a verb – love is action! Recognizing and appreciating these small actions of love between you is acknowledging the work involved in keeping a spark alive in the relationship. As well, it helps keep the relationship very far away from feeling taken for granted and complacent.

Springtime in Paris

Spending a week in Paris, as the season of spring brings a feeling of romance to an already romantic city, isn’t a great example of a small gesture of romance and thoughtfulness – but I include it here because writing this blog brings me back to this moment. This romantic moment; this kiss we shared in the Eiffel Tower.

It took a lot of work to climb the 674 steps* to the second level of the tower, then take the elevator to the very top – and share this kiss!

Romance and thoughtfulness take effort. They are work!

But, ah! What fun!

The payoff is certainly worth it!

S, 💕

*Climb the Eiffel Tower on Foot – The Eiffel Tower Official Website

Originally published: March 21st, 2021

55 Rules For Love:

Study Of “The 55 Rules For Love”

55 Rules For Love – Rule #1 – When It Arrives, Cherish It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #2 – Whatever You Accept, You Will Get

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 3 – Understand That Love Is A Mirror – It Will Show Us Who We Are If We Allow It To

55 Rules For Love – Rule #4 – Only We Can Make Ourselves Happy, It Is Not The Other Person’s Responsibility

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 5 – Don’t Say Words With The Intent To Hurt

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 6 – Accept And Forgive Easily

55 Rules For Love – Rule #7 – Don’t Be Scared To Disagree, It Is Healthy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #8 – Never Be Too Busy For Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #9 – Do Not Punish

55 Rules For Love – Rule #10 – Accept Honest Criticism, It Is Good For Us

55 Rules For Love – Rule #11 – Admit When You Are Wrong, Quickly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #12 – Support Each Other When The Going Gets Tough

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 13 – Live In The Moment – Be Present

55 Rules For Love – Rule #14 – Leave The Past Where It Belongs

55 Rules For Love – Rule #15 – Leave Drama Out Of It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #16 – Don’t Try To Control

55 Rules For Love – Rule #17 – Allow A Small Amount of Jealousy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons

55 Rules For Love – Rule #19 – Celebrate Differences

55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #21 – Listen Very Carefully

55 Rules For Love – Rule #22 – Don’t Judge

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 23 – Don’t Manipulate To Get Results

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 24 – Learn and Grow

55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #26 – Don’t Condemn Each Other’s Family and Friends

55 Rules For Love – Rule #27 – Lines, Flaws and Imperfections are Beautiful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #28 – Trust Your Instincts, But Don’t Be Paranoid

55 Rules For Love – Rule #29 – Don’t Compromise Your Morals And Values And Don’t Expect Them To Either

55 Rules For Love – Rule #30 – Instead of Power, Aim For Balance

55 Rules for Love – Rule #31 – Space Is Needed To Breathe And To Grow

55 Rules for Love – Rule #32 – Accept That You Are Both Unique – Never Compare

55 Rules For Love – Rule #33 – Have Fun, Laugh and Play – A Lot

55 Rules For Love – Rule #34 – Be Each Other’s Best Friend

55 Rules For Love – Rule #35 – Don’t Play Mind Games

55 Rules For Love – Rule #36 – Do Not Carelessly Throw Away Love

55 Rules For Love – Rule #37 – Don’t Waste Energy With Negative Thoughts

55 Rules For Love – Rule #38 – Compliment Often

55 Rules For Love – Rule #39 – Discover Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #40 – Be Attentive And Understand What’s Not Said

55 Rules For Love – Rule #41 – Do At Least One Romantic And Thoughtful Thing Every Day

55 Rules For Love – Rule #42 – Take Picnics And Sleep Under The Stars

55 Rules For Love – Rule #43 – Don’t Just Speak About It, Show Love

55 Rules For Love – Rule #44 – Walk Together, Cook Together, Bathe Together, Read Together

55 Rules For Love – Rule #45 – Do Not Be Afraid, Love Requires Surrender

55 Rules For Love – Rule #46 – Be Loyal And Faithful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #47 – Trust

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 48 – Be Grateful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #49 – Fluidity Is Good, Accept Change

55 Rules For Love – Rule #50 – Don’t Sleep On A Fight

55 Rules For Love – Rule #51 – Don’t Cling To It, Know When To Let Go

55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Discover What Turns You Both On And Explore It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Make Love, But Also F*ck (Regularly)

55 Rules For Love – Rule #54 – Give And Receive Without Measure

55 Rules For Love – Rule #55 – Never Gamble With What You Can’t Afford To Lose