As I lay in bed processing this Rule #41, I asked my husband Michael his thoughts on it.
Our conversation evolved into determining the difference between complimenting each other, and what a romantic gesture is compared to being thoughtful.
Complimenting each other is its own rule, Rule #38 – Compliment Often.
Romance and thoughtfulness are very close to complimenting each other – as compliments can be romantic and thoughtful – but there is a difference.
The difference is that romantic and thoughtful things are actions – actions of love.
Michael and I immediately agreed that a romantic thing is a passionate, intimate gesture.
It doesn’t have to be a large gesture like sprinkling rose petals over an entire room, with a thousand lit candles casting a warm romantic glow while giving each other body massages.
This Rule #41 is an everyday thing.
Planning an evening of romantic body massages takes a lot of energy.
After a long week at work, and a never-ending to-do list on the weekend, romantic gestures of that scale are saved for weekend getaways – where hotel staff do the cooking, serve the meals and do the cleaning! This allows us the energy needed to spend a few hours rolling around in massage oil!
We searched for examples in our every day life of how we are romantic with each other. It took a bit of brainstorming – because, honestly – we are both conditioned to think of romance as those large, sweeping gestures one tends to watch in movies.
However, we soon realized how we offer each other romantic gestures on a daily basis. Be it sending each other “I LoveYou” Bitmoji text messages, snuggling before we fall asleep, and our usual morning routine before we start our day… *wink wink*
This was easier to find examples of.
To be thoughtful is to be considerate of each other’s needs.
Michael is spending his days designing our home. A few of his daily thoughtful things are: as he designs the house he considers and includes small nuances that are important to me, cleaning up after himself during the day so I don’t have to clean up after him when I arrive home from work, and after a stressful workday, greeting me with a much needed supportive hug when I walk through the door.
A few of my daily thoughtful things are: bringing Michael his morning coffee in bed, making sure he takes his daily vitamins, and that there are ready to eat healthy meals for him in the fridge when he takes a break during the day.
Love in Action
Love is a verb – love is action! Recognizing and appreciating these small actions of love between you is acknowledging the work involved in keeping a spark alive in the relationship. As well, it helps keep the relationship very far away from feeling taken for granted and complacent.
Springtime in Paris
Spending a week in Paris, as the season of spring brings a feeling of romance to an already romantic city, isn’t a great example of a small gesture of romance and thoughtfulness – but I include it here because writing this blog brings me back to this moment. This romantic moment; this kiss we shared in the Eiffel Tower.
It took a lot of work to climb the 674 steps* to the second level of the tower, then take the elevator to the very top – and share this kiss!
Romance and thoughtfulness take effort. They are work!
But, ah! What fun!
The payoff is certainly worth it!
Originally published: March 21st, 2021
About me: Stephanie Wells
I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.