Recently, my husband Michael and I started watching the powerful family drama, This Is Us, on Netflix. We immediately fell in love with the show. We’re nearing the end of the first season, and as I prepared to dive into writingRule #36 – Do Not Carelessly Throw Love Away, I thought about Kate’s struggle to accept Toby’s love; and at times she would throw it away.
In other words, she would push away someone who wants to love her.
If you’re not watching this intensely powerful, heartfelt family drama… you should! Get your Kleenex and prepare yourself to laugh and cry and cry some more. Happy tears. Sad tears and everything in-between. If I need a good cry, and feel unable to bring the tears forward – watching this show evokes so many emotions – POWERFUL emotions – that the cry I need, happens.
Scary stuff, letting someone love you, especially if someone you loved and trusted in the past has betrayed and hurt you. Or, you feel such deep shame about yourself, that it’s terrifying to imagine letting someone in – because once they get to know the “real you”, they will see you as the terrible person you think you are, and leave you.
Grass Is Always Greener
Or, maybe you’ve become complacent in your relationship and think that other marriages look better than yours. So, you start to pull away from your spouse with imaginings that a Harlequin Romance relationship is out there, just waiting for you.
Love Isn’t Easy
Love takes a lot of work. Period. Love starts off as a possibility then grows just as a plant does – with nurturing and care. But, it takes the right mixture of ingredients in the soil to be able to grow the seed. You can’t plant an apple seed in the snow. The conditions to grow the seed are not right. The seed will die.
Love is the same thing. Love needs time to grow with conditions such as respect, vulnerability, communication, loyalty, honesty, and trust.
Not easy, this is.
Sometimes, it feels easier to run away than expose your vulnerabilities and take a deep dive into love.
It is here when we might risk to carelessly throw love away; to run or sabotage the relationship.
Love Gets Easier – Life is Hard
Learning to accept love gets easier with time.
You have to be brave.
Take risks and learn to be vulnerable.
Then, the accumulation of moments of being loved and accepted by your partner in good times and in difficult times becomes proof that love really can be a safe place.
This has been my journey – the accumulation of moments over the years of Michael’s loyalty and love – that has proven to me that the love I always thought possible, truly is possible.
Life is hard, and through it all…love truly can be a warm embrace.
Why carelessly throw away all your hard work to achieve such a gift, someone’s heart, who wants nothing more than to receive yours in return.
Originally published: March 16th, 2021
About me: Stephanie Wells
I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.