Kate and Toby

Recently, my husband Michael and I started watching the powerful family drama, This Is Us, on Netflix. We immediately fell in love with the show. We’re nearing the end of the first season, and as I prepared to dive into writing Rule #36 – Do Not Carelessly Throw Love Away, I thought about Kate’s struggle to accept Toby’s love; and at times she would throw it away.

In other words, she would push away someone who wants to love her.

If you’re not watching this intensely powerful, heartfelt family drama… you should! Get your Kleenex and prepare yourself to laugh and cry and cry some more. Happy tears. Sad tears and everything in-between. If I need a good cry, and feel unable to bring the tears forward – watching this show evokes so many emotions – POWERFUL emotions – that the cry I need, happens.

Photo Credit – TVLine

Letting Someone In

Scary stuff, letting someone love you, especially if someone you loved and trusted in the past has betrayed and hurt you. Or, you feel such deep shame about yourself, that it’s terrifying to imagine letting someone in – because once they get to know the “real you”, they will see you as the terrible person you think you are, and leave you.

Grass Is Always Greener

Or, maybe you’ve become complacent in your relationship and think that other marriages look better than yours. So, you start to pull away from your spouse with imaginings that a Harlequin Romance relationship is out there, just waiting for you.

Love Isn’t Easy

Love takes a lot of work. Period. Love starts off as a possibility then grows just as a plant does – with nurturing and care. But, it takes the right mixture of ingredients in the soil to be able to grow the seed. You can’t plant an apple seed in the snow. The conditions to grow the seed are not right. The seed will die.

Love is the same thing. Love needs time to grow with conditions such as respect, vulnerability, communication, loyalty, honesty, and trust.

Not easy, this is.

Sometimes, it feels easier to run away than expose your vulnerabilities and take a deep dive into love.

It is here when we might risk to carelessly throw love away; to run or sabotage the relationship.

Love Gets Easier – Life is Hard

Learning to accept love gets easier with time.

You have to be brave.

Take risks and learn to be vulnerable.

Then, the accumulation of moments of being loved and accepted by your partner in good times and in difficult times becomes proof that love really can be a safe place.

This has been my journey – the accumulation of moments over the years of Michael’s loyalty and love – that has proven to me that the love I always thought possible, truly is possible.

Life is hard, and through it all…love truly can be a warm embrace.

Why carelessly throw away all your hard work to achieve such a gift, someone’s heart, who wants nothing more than to receive yours in return.

S,💙

Originally published: March 16th, 2021

55 Rules For Love:

Study Of “The 55 Rules For Love”

55 Rules For Love – Rule #1 – When It Arrives, Cherish It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #2 – Whatever You Accept, You Will Get

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 3 – Understand That Love Is A Mirror – It Will Show Us Who We Are If We Allow It To

55 Rules For Love – Rule #4 – Only We Can Make Ourselves Happy, It Is Not The Other Person’s Responsibility

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 5 – Don’t Say Words With The Intent To Hurt

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 6 – Accept And Forgive Easily

55 Rules For Love – Rule #7 – Don’t Be Scared To Disagree, It Is Healthy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #8 – Never Be Too Busy For Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #9 – Do Not Punish

55 Rules For Love – Rule #10 – Accept Honest Criticism, It Is Good For Us

55 Rules For Love – Rule #11 – Admit When You Are Wrong, Quickly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #12 – Support Each Other When The Going Gets Tough

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 13 – Live In The Moment – Be Present

55 Rules For Love – Rule #14 – Leave The Past Where It Belongs

55 Rules For Love – Rule #15 – Leave Drama Out Of It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #16 – Don’t Try To Control

55 Rules For Love – Rule #17 – Allow A Small Amount of Jealousy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons

55 Rules For Love – Rule #19 – Celebrate Differences

55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #21 – Listen Very Carefully

55 Rules For Love – Rule #22 – Don’t Judge

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 23 – Don’t Manipulate To Get Results

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 24 – Learn and Grow

55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #26 – Don’t Condemn Each Other’s Family and Friends

55 Rules For Love – Rule #27 – Lines, Flaws and Imperfections are Beautiful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #28 – Trust Your Instincts, But Don’t Be Paranoid

55 Rules For Love – Rule #29 – Don’t Compromise Your Morals And Values And Don’t Expect Them To Either

55 Rules For Love – Rule #30 – Instead of Power, Aim For Balance

55 Rules for Love – Rule #31 – Space Is Needed To Breathe And To Grow

55 Rules for Love – Rule #32 – Accept That You Are Both Unique – Never Compare

55 Rules For Love – Rule #33 – Have Fun, Laugh and Play – A Lot

55 Rules For Love – Rule #34 – Be Each Other’s Best Friend

55 Rules For Love – Rule #35 – Don’t Play Mind Games

55 Rules For Love – Rule #36 – Do Not Carelessly Throw Away Love

55 Rules For Love – Rule #37 – Don’t Waste Energy With Negative Thoughts

55 Rules For Love – Rule #38 – Compliment Often

55 Rules For Love – Rule #39 – Discover Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #40 – Be Attentive And Understand What’s Not Said

55 Rules For Love – Rule #41 – Do At Least One Romantic And Thoughtful Thing Every Day

55 Rules For Love – Rule #42 – Take Picnics And Sleep Under The Stars

55 Rules For Love – Rule #43 – Don’t Just Speak About It, Show Love

55 Rules For Love – Rule #44 – Walk Together, Cook Together, Bathe Together, Read Together

55 Rules For Love – Rule #45 – Do Not Be Afraid, Love Requires Surrender

55 Rules For Love – Rule #46 – Be Loyal And Faithful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #47 – Trust

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 48 – Be Grateful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #49 – Fluidity Is Good, Accept Change

55 Rules For Love – Rule #50 – Don’t Sleep On A Fight

55 Rules For Love – Rule #51 – Don’t Cling To It, Know When To Let Go

55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Discover What Turns You Both On And Explore It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Make Love, But Also F*ck (Regularly)

55 Rules For Love – Rule #54 – Give And Receive Without Measure

55 Rules For Love – Rule #55 – Never Gamble With What You Can’t Afford To Lose