To What is Being Said – Active Listening
Rule #20 is Communicate Openly and Honestly. I write at length about the skill of active listening, a skill that gives space to communicate openly and honestly with each other. I’ve included the link below to read more on this rule:
55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly
Here are the three steps to active listening:
Content and paraphrasing – this is the ability to detach from your own brain and interpretation to actually repeat back what your partner has said. Example: If I hear you correctly, what you’re saying is….
Reflect emotional content – this is the ability to identify the emotions your partner is expressing and express this back to them. Example: You sound really sad and hurt right now….
Pay attention to body language – this is the ability to pick up non-verbal cues from your partner and connect that to the content. Are their arms crossed in defense, are they not able to look you in the eye, is one leg restless? This skill helps to identify emotional content.

Listen Very Carefully to What is Not Being Said
Body Language
Body language tells me a lot. When I’m talking to my husband, his body language tells me if he is paying attention, is nervous, is caring, is frustrated, not interested or deeply sad.
Be sure to listen very carefully to your partner’s body language, to see if it matches their words.
Topic Avoidance
Some topics are just too painful. These minefield issues need to be eased into with patience and love. Pay attention to clues and gentle moments when your partner feels safe enough with you to share some of the deepest hurts recessed within their heart.
Then, listen very carefully, because you’re holding their heart in your hands.
Holding Space
Sometimes listening very carefully, means saying nothing at all.
You’re holding a safe space for them to share – without judgement or a need to fix – in comfortable, loving silence.
Comfortable Silence
Then there are those moments of comfortable silence when no words are needed. You’re together. Just being; while listening to the peaceful… calm love between you.
This quote by Sarika Pandey says it perfectly – I love listening to you, even when you sit in silence.
S, 💙
Originally published: May 9th, 2020


About me: Stephanie Wells
I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.
55 Rules For Love:
Study Of “The 55 Rules For Love”
55 Rules For Love – Rule #1 – When It Arrives, Cherish It
55 Rules For Love – Rule #2 – Whatever You Accept, You Will Get
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 5 – Don’t Say Words With The Intent To Hurt
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 6 – Accept And Forgive Easily
55 Rules For Love – Rule #7 – Don’t Be Scared To Disagree, It Is Healthy
55 Rules For Love – Rule #8 – Never Be Too Busy For Each Other
55 Rules For Love – Rule #9 – Do Not Punish
55 Rules For Love – Rule #10 – Accept Honest Criticism, It Is Good For Us
55 Rules For Love – Rule #11 – Admit When You Are Wrong, Quickly
55 Rules For Love – Rule #12 – Support Each Other When The Going Gets Tough
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 13 – Live In The Moment – Be Present
55 Rules For Love – Rule #14 – Leave The Past Where It Belongs
55 Rules For Love – Rule #15 – Leave Drama Out Of It
55 Rules For Love – Rule #16 – Don’t Try To Control
55 Rules For Love – Rule #17 – Allow A Small Amount of Jealousy
55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons
55 Rules For Love – Rule #19 – Celebrate Differences
55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly
55 Rules For Love – Rule #21 – Listen Very Carefully
55 Rules For Love – Rule #22 – Don’t Judge
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 23 – Don’t Manipulate To Get Results
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 24 – Learn and Grow
55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other
55 Rules For Love – Rule #26 – Don’t Condemn Each Other’s Family and Friends
55 Rules For Love – Rule #27 – Lines, Flaws and Imperfections are Beautiful
55 Rules For Love – Rule #28 – Trust Your Instincts, But Don’t Be Paranoid
55 Rules For Love – Rule #30 – Instead of Power, Aim For Balance
55 Rules for Love – Rule #31 – Space Is Needed To Breathe And To Grow
55 Rules for Love – Rule #32 – Accept That You Are Both Unique – Never Compare
55 Rules For Love – Rule #33 – Have Fun, Laugh and Play – A Lot
55 Rules For Love – Rule #34 – Be Each Other’s Best Friend
55 Rules For Love – Rule #35 – Don’t Play Mind Games
55 Rules For Love – Rule #36 – Do Not Carelessly Throw Away Love
55 Rules For Love – Rule #37 – Don’t Waste Energy With Negative Thoughts
55 Rules For Love – Rule #38 – Compliment Often
55 Rules For Love – Rule #39 – Discover Each Other
55 Rules For Love – Rule #40 – Be Attentive And Understand What’s Not Said
55 Rules For Love – Rule #41 – Do At Least One Romantic And Thoughtful Thing Every Day
55 Rules For Love – Rule #42 – Take Picnics And Sleep Under The Stars
55 Rules For Love – Rule #43 – Don’t Just Speak About It, Show Love
55 Rules For Love – Rule #44 – Walk Together, Cook Together, Bathe Together, Read Together
55 Rules For Love – Rule #45 – Do Not Be Afraid, Love Requires Surrender
55 Rules For Love – Rule #46 – Be Loyal And Faithful
55 Rules For Love – Rule #47 – Trust
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 48 – Be Grateful
55 Rules For Love – Rule #49 – Fluidity Is Good, Accept Change
55 Rules For Love – Rule #50 – Don’t Sleep On A Fight
55 Rules For Love – Rule #51 – Don’t Cling To It, Know When To Let Go
55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Discover What Turns You Both On And Explore It
55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Make Love, But Also F*ck (Regularly)
55 Rules For Love – Rule #54 – Give And Receive Without Measure
55 Rules For Love – Rule #55 – Never Gamble With What You Can’t Afford To Lose
That is a great quote, Stephanie.
Silence is golden, they say!
And that is a wonderful photo, looks like an amazing view for Michael.
Thanks again for a great post!
<3 <3 <3
I’m am so happy you like it Margie!!! Have a beautiful day!!! ❤️❤️❤️
This is very good advice Stephanie!
Thank you Maggie!!! ❤️🌻🌸