This is the rule that started the ball rolling with this entire 55 Rules for Love series.
During a recent trip to Mexico, my husband and I were struggling with a few of our differences.
These struggles inspired me to review a list of love rules called 55 Rules For Love that Michel and I read together when we first met, 6 years ago.
Here is the link to my first blog in this 55 Rules For Love series that introduces the list:
Study Of “The 55 Rules For Love”
Many books and movies, within a variety of genres, have exampled opposites attracting.
Star Wars archetype couple, Han and Leia, model this perfectly!
It is HOW we handle our differences that paves either a smooth or bumpy road together.
I believe by celebrating our differences, this is the HOW to navigating a smoother road together.
To celebrate each other’s differences, we have to clearly see and accept the reality each other’s personality; and understand how this benefits the marriage, rather than hinders it.
Seeing The Reality
My husband is opposite from me in a few ways. He is quietly contemplative, and stoic. I am overtly contemplative and expressive. I am quick to worry and reactive. He doesn’t seem to worry and takes everything in stride. I work at one task at a time to completion, then start the next. My husband has five tasks on the go, hops back and forth from each, mostly to completion. I am highly organized and list driven. My husband keeps a mental list and sees organization in his many piles of paperwork. My husband is curious and has an insatiable appetite for learning. I am easily overwhelmed and learn one new thing at a time.
Sometimes, our patience is tested. An example would be if I am worried about something and he doesn’t seem bothered by it. This stresses me out because I think he isn’t taking something seriously enough. His patience is tested when I am worried about something, creating stressful energy around us, when he doesn’t see the need to worry.
If both of us were a worry-wart like I am, we’d trigger each other, get caught up in a panic loop and always be stressed over something!
If both of us were as laid back as my husband, and didn’t think ahead of possible issues, possible “what-ifs”, troubleshooting as I like to call it, then we would never be prepared.
Yes, “balance” is an overused word, but very much needed when opposites attract! Finding this balance is very much like being on a seesaw. Some days are up, some days are down. Sometimes we’re finding just the right amount of balance.
Celebrating Our Marriage
For me, finding this balance in our marriage has been seeing how beneficial my husband’s personalty traits are to himself and our marriage, are that are opposite from mine. And vice versa. How my personality traits, that are opposite from him, benefit both himself and our marriage.
But, this isn’t always easy!
Recently, I started celebrating our differences with daily emails to my husband, indicating a difference between us and how that benefited both me as a person and our marriage. These emails, however, were sometimes challenging as we re-recognized how some differences between us were difficult to navigate through. This opened up deeper, more difficult, honest conversations. Happily, these conversations eventually evolved into celebrating our marriage.
There are still hills and valleys ahead of us, that may yet reveal more differences ahead.
Time Heals All
I believe with more time and history a marriage has, along with both embracing each other’s differences and a continued commitment of a deepening love, these differences become a strong anchor through the hills and valleys of life you face together.
Originally published: April 10th, 2020
About me: Stephanie Wells
I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.
55 Rules For Love:
Study Of “The 55 Rules For Love”
55 Rules For Love – Rule #1 – When It Arrives, Cherish It
55 Rules For Love – Rule #2 – Whatever You Accept, You Will Get
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 3 – Understand That Love Is A Mirror – It Will Show Us Who We Are If We Allow It To
55 Rules For Love – Rule #4 – Only We Can Make Ourselves Happy, It Is Not The Other Person’s Responsibility
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 5 – Don’t Say Words With The Intent To Hurt
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 6 – Accept And Forgive Easily
55 Rules For Love – Rule #7 – Don’t Be Scared To Disagree, It Is Healthy
55 Rules For Love – Rule #8 – Never Be Too Busy For Each Other
55 Rules For Love – Rule #9 – Do Not Punish
55 Rules For Love – Rule #10 – Accept Honest Criticism, It Is Good For Us
55 Rules For Love – Rule #11 – Admit When You Are Wrong, Quickly
55 Rules For Love – Rule #12 – Support Each Other When The Going Gets Tough
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 13 – Live In The Moment – Be Present
55 Rules For Love – Rule #14 – Leave The Past Where It Belongs
55 Rules For Love – Rule #15 – Leave Drama Out Of It
55 Rules For Love – Rule #16 – Don’t Try To Control
55 Rules For Love – Rule #17 – Allow A Small Amount of Jealousy
55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons
55 Rules For Love – Rule #19 – Celebrate Differences
55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly
55 Rules For Love – Rule #21 – Listen Very Carefully
55 Rules For Love – Rule #22 – Don’t Judge
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 23 – Don’t Manipulate To Get Results
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 24 – Learn and Grow
55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other
55 Rules For Love – Rule #26 – Don’t Condemn Each Other’s Family and Friends
55 Rules For Love – Rule #27 – Lines, Flaws and Imperfections are Beautiful
55 Rules For Love – Rule #28 – Trust Your Instincts, But Don’t Be Paranoid
55 Rules For Love – Rule #29 – Don’t Compromise Your Morals And Values And Don’t Expect Them To Either
55 Rules For Love – Rule #30 – Instead of Power, Aim For Balance
55 Rules for Love – Rule #31 – Space Is Needed To Breathe And To Grow
55 Rules for Love – Rule #32 – Accept That You Are Both Unique – Never Compare
55 Rules For Love – Rule #33 – Have Fun, Laugh and Play – A Lot
55 Rules For Love – Rule #34 – Be Each Other’s Best Friend
55 Rules For Love – Rule #35 – Don’t Play Mind Games
55 Rules For Love – Rule #36 – Do Not Carelessly Throw Away Love
55 Rules For Love – Rule #37 – Don’t Waste Energy With Negative Thoughts
55 Rules For Love – Rule #38 – Compliment Often
55 Rules For Love – Rule #39 – Discover Each Other
55 Rules For Love – Rule #40 – Be Attentive And Understand What’s Not Said
55 Rules For Love – Rule #41 – Do At Least One Romantic And Thoughtful Thing Every Day
55 Rules For Love – Rule #42 – Take Picnics And Sleep Under The Stars
55 Rules For Love – Rule #43 – Don’t Just Speak About It, Show Love
55 Rules For Love – Rule #44 – Walk Together, Cook Together, Bathe Together, Read Together
55 Rules For Love – Rule #45 – Do Not Be Afraid, Love Requires Surrender
55 Rules For Love – Rule #46 – Be Loyal And Faithful
55 Rules For Love – Rule #47 – Trust
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 48 – Be Grateful
55 Rules For Love – Rule #49 – Fluidity Is Good, Accept Change
55 Rules For Love – Rule #50 – Don’t Sleep On A Fight
55 Rules For Love – Rule #51 – Don’t Cling To It, Know When To Let Go
55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Discover What Turns You Both On And Explore It
55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Make Love, But Also F*ck (Regularly)
55 Rules For Love – Rule #54 – Give And Receive Without Measure
55 Rules For Love – Rule #55 – Never Gamble With What You Can’t Afford To Lose
10 Comments Add yours
I just read your list and its a wonderful list.
I always love your posts as I learn so much from you and I just want to say thank you!
I think you and Michael make a wonderful couple, always growing together as you also retain who are in yourselves!
Bravo to both of you, Stephanie! 🙂
<3 <3 <3
Coming closer together is what we want, but getting there is not always easy. We’re always a work in progress as life continues to do as life does – present challenges!!! ❤️❤️❤️ Sending you so much love Margie!!!!
Oh, that darn life, why does it have to present us with so many challenges? LOL
It’s the little triumphs that make us smile 🙂
Little Triumphs ~
Although my troubles
seem as black
and big at times as
The little triumphs
that I have
can make the
whole world bright ~
Another little poem for you, dear Stephanie . 🙂
Sending lots of love back to you.
<3 <3 <3
WOW!!!! I wasn’t expecting this!!!! I LOVE THIS!!! Little bit don’t know what to say!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
I am so glad you loved it!
<3 <3 <3
I totally love it!!!! It is very inspiring!!!! 🤸🏼♀️🤸🏼♀️🤸🏼♀️❤️❤️❤️
Accepting that all areas of our life can be easier …when we acknowledge and celebrate our differences is a major character builder. Such a wonderful way to live 💜💜💜 …
Agreed!!! Love you mama!! ❤️❤️❤️
Love the amazing rules you have and how you created this posts concept 👌
Thank you! Your feedback means a lot to me as I’ve poured my heart into creating this blog series. 💛😊💛