It is, in my opinion, how you handle disagreements that matters.
Are you respectful of your lover’s opinion?
Can you let differences go? Or do you always have to have your way or be right?
When you communicate respectfully to your husband, wife, spouse, however you choose to call your significant other, that you do not agree with an action, behavior, opinion they put forth then you are engaging in honest dialogue, while feeling safe enough with your spouse to speak your truth.
But ask yourself, how important is it?
Don’t nit-pick. Author Richard Carlson says it exactly true in his gem of a book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Marriage.
However, there are fundamental opinions and differences that can cause big bumps. Family is a significant one. So are views on future plans and goals. What are priorities? What are deal-breakers?
Again, it is HOW these difficult conversations are nurtured. Are differences scorned and judged? Or are they accepted as is, looked at with supportive eyes, and heard with active listening along with a willingness to compromise?
Tricky this one is… because it all comes down to mutual respect, support and honest communication. And our mood at the moment plays a part too. If we’re grumpy when a difference happens, active listening may not happen immediately.
Communicating on why the topic of difference is important to your spouse – understanding their view on it and why they have that opinion is helpful as well. This is another excellent avenue of connecting on a deeper emotional level. With a deeper understanding of why a difference truly matters to your partner, compromise on your part may be easier, is genuine and comes from the heart.
As Steven Covey says, seek first to understand.
Originally published: January 18th, 2020
About me: Stephanie Wells
I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.