When my husband and I first met online and started our long-distant relationship, he sent me a list called the “55 Rules for Love” reflecting his outlook on love.
These rules stayed with us, and we use them as a reference for our marriage – for perspective.
I’m not sure who created this list. At this time, the list is linked to a site called Elephant Journal.
55 Rules for Love
1. When it arrives, cherish it.
2. Whatever you accept, you will get.
3. Understand that love is a mirror—it will show us who we are if we allow it to.
4. Only we can make ourselves happy, it is not the other person’s responsibility.
5. Don’t say words with the intent to hurt.
6. Accept and forgive easily.
7. Don’t be scared to disagree, it is healthy.
8. Never be too busy for each other.
9. Do not punish.
10. Accept honest criticism, it is good for us.
11. Admit when you are wrong, quickly.
12. Support each other when the going gets tough.
13. Live in the moment—be present.
14. Leave the past where it belongs.
15. Leave drama out of it.
16. Don’t try to control.
17. Allow a small amount of jealousy.
18. Don’t use comparisons.
19. Celebrate differences.
20. Communicate openly and honestly.
21. Listen very carefully.
22. Don’t judge.
23. Don’t manipulate to get results.
24. Learn and grow.
25. Don’t try to change each other.
26. Don’t condemn each other’s family and friends.
27. Lines, flaws and imperfections are beautiful.
28. Trust your instincts, but don’t be paranoid.
29. Don’t compromise your morals and values and don’t expect them to either.
30. Instead of power, aim for balance.
31. Space is needed to breathe and to grow.
32. Accept that you are both unique—never compare.
33. Have fun, laugh and play—a lot.
34. Be each other’s best friend.
35. Don’t play mind games.
36. Do not carelessly throw away love.
37. Don’t waste energy with negative thoughts.
38. Compliment often.
39. Discover each other.
40. Be attentive and understand what’s not said.
41. Do at least one romantic and thoughtful thing every day.
42. Take picnics and sleep under the stars.
43. Don’t just speak about it, show love.
44. Walk together, cook together, bathe together, read together.
45. Do not be afraid, love requires surrender.
46. Be loyal and faithful.
48. Be grateful.
49. Fluidity is good, accept change.
50. Don’t sleep on a fight.
51. Don’t cling to it, know when to let go.
52. Discover what turns you both on and explore it.
53. Make love, but also f*ck (regularly).
54. Give and receive without measure.
55. Never gamble with what you can’t afford to lose.
Love is something I find most interesting because in its purest form, love is almost impossible for a human to continually stay in and express.
Because humans have issues that make the vulnerability of love feel really scary to step into.
We have been molded and shaped by our parents, our culture and everything around us that defines our version of what love looks and feels like. Not all people, places and things model what safe love looks like.
There are different types of love – self-love, romantic love, love for family and friends, love for animals and the environment.
Yet, there is this thing called love…this word that describes a feeling in my heart – the centre of my chest – my heart chakra – with moments of absolute warmth that flow from it. A happiness, a stillness, a great sense of inner peace, joy and even laughter bubbles up from within.
Then, there are moments within love of absolute heartbreak. My chest, my heart chakra literally hurts, it aches with profound sadness because of love’s disappointments and pain.
A reality of love. It can hurt.
My heart literally feels broken.
So, my goal is to write a blog about each one of these rules on this list.
To help deepen my understanding of love and model this in my marriage, with family and friends and as a Reiki Master Teacher.
Originally published: January 9th, 2020
About me: Stephanie Wells
I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.