When my husband and I first met online and started our long-distant relationship, he sent me a list called the “55 Rules for Love” reflecting his outlook on love.
These rules stayed with us, and we use them as a reference for our marriage – for perspective.
I’m not sure who created this list. At this time, the list is linked to a site called Elephant Journal.
55 Rules for Love
1. When it arrives, cherish it.
2. Whatever you accept, you will get.
3. Understand that love is a mirror—it will show us who we are if we allow it to.
4. Only we can make ourselves happy, it is not the other person’s responsibility.
5. Don’t say words with the intent to hurt.
6. Accept and forgive easily.
7. Don’t be scared to disagree, it is healthy.
8. Never be too busy for each other.
9. Do not punish.
10. Accept honest criticism, it is good for us.
11. Admit when you are wrong, quickly.
12. Support each other when the going gets tough.
13. Live in the moment—be present.
14. Leave the past where it belongs.
15. Leave drama out of it.
16. Don’t try to control.
17. Allow a small amount of jealousy.
18. Don’t use comparisons.
19. Celebrate differences.
20. Communicate openly and honestly.
21. Listen very carefully.
22. Don’t judge.
23. Don’t manipulate to get results.
24. Learn and grow.
25. Don’t try to change each other.
26. Don’t condemn each other’s family and friends.
27. Lines, flaws and imperfections are beautiful.
28. Trust your instincts, but don’t be paranoid.
29. Don’t compromise your morals and values and don’t expect them to either.
30. Instead of power, aim for balance.
31. Space is needed to breathe and to grow.
32. Accept that you are both unique—never compare.
33. Have fun, laugh and play—a lot.
34. Be each other’s best friend.
35. Don’t play mind games.
36. Do not carelessly throw away love.
37. Don’t waste energy with negative thoughts.
38. Compliment often.
39. Discover each other.
40. Be attentive and understand what’s not said.
41. Do at least one romantic and thoughtful thing every day.
42. Take picnics and sleep under the stars.
43. Don’t just speak about it, show love.
44. Walk together, cook together, bathe together, read together.
45. Do not be afraid, love requires surrender.
46. Be loyal and faithful.
47. Trust.
48. Be grateful.
49. Fluidity is good, accept change.
50. Don’t sleep on a fight.
51. Don’t cling to it, know when to let go.
52. Discover what turns you both on and explore it.
53. Make love, but also f*ck (regularly).
54. Give and receive without measure.
55. Never gamble with what you can’t afford to lose.
Love
Love is something I find most interesting because in its purest form, love is almost impossible for a human to continually stay in and express.
Why?
Because humans have issues that make the vulnerability of love feel really scary to step into.
We have been molded and shaped by our parents, our culture and everything around us that defines our version of what love looks and feels like. Not all people, places and things model what safe love looks like.
There are different types of love – self-love, romantic love, love for family and friends, love for animals and the environment.
Yet, there is this thing called love…this word that describes a feeling in my heart – the centre of my chest – my heart chakra – with moments of absolute warmth that flow from it. A happiness, a stillness, a great sense of inner peace, joy and even laughter bubbles up from within.
Then, there are moments within love of absolute heartbreak. My chest, my heart chakra literally hurts, it aches with profound sadness because of love’s disappointments and pain.
A reality of love. It can hurt.
My heart literally feels broken.
So, my goal is to write a blog about each one of these rules on this list.
A reflection.
To help deepen my understanding of love and model this in my marriage, with family and friends and as a Reiki Master Teacher.
S, 💛
Originally published: January 9th, 2020


About me: Stephanie Wells
I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.
55 Rules For Love:
Study Of “The 55 Rules For Love”
55 Rules For Love – Rule #1 – When It Arrives, Cherish It
55 Rules For Love – Rule #2 – Whatever You Accept, You Will Get
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 5 – Don’t Say Words With The Intent To Hurt
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 6 – Accept And Forgive Easily
55 Rules For Love – Rule #7 – Don’t Be Scared To Disagree, It Is Healthy
55 Rules For Love – Rule #8 – Never Be Too Busy For Each Other
55 Rules For Love – Rule #9 – Do Not Punish
55 Rules For Love – Rule #10 – Accept Honest Criticism, It Is Good For Us
55 Rules For Love – Rule #11 – Admit When You Are Wrong, Quickly
55 Rules For Love – Rule #12 – Support Each Other When The Going Gets Tough
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 13 – Live In The Moment – Be Present
55 Rules For Love – Rule #14 – Leave The Past Where It Belongs
55 Rules For Love – Rule #15 – Leave Drama Out Of It
55 Rules For Love – Rule #16 – Don’t Try To Control
55 Rules For Love – Rule #17 – Allow A Small Amount of Jealousy
55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons
55 Rules For Love – Rule #19 – Celebrate Differences
55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly
55 Rules For Love – Rule #21 – Listen Very Carefully
55 Rules For Love – Rule #22 – Don’t Judge
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 23 – Don’t Manipulate To Get Results
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 24 – Learn and Grow
55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other
55 Rules For Love – Rule #26 – Don’t Condemn Each Other’s Family and Friends
55 Rules For Love – Rule #27 – Lines, Flaws and Imperfections are Beautiful
55 Rules For Love – Rule #28 – Trust Your Instincts, But Don’t Be Paranoid
55 Rules For Love – Rule #30 – Instead of Power, Aim For Balance
55 Rules for Love – Rule #31 – Space Is Needed To Breathe And To Grow
55 Rules for Love – Rule #32 – Accept That You Are Both Unique – Never Compare
55 Rules For Love – Rule #33 – Have Fun, Laugh and Play – A Lot
55 Rules For Love – Rule #34 – Be Each Other’s Best Friend
55 Rules For Love – Rule #35 – Don’t Play Mind Games
55 Rules For Love – Rule #36 – Do Not Carelessly Throw Away Love
55 Rules For Love – Rule #37 – Don’t Waste Energy With Negative Thoughts
55 Rules For Love – Rule #38 – Compliment Often
55 Rules For Love – Rule #39 – Discover Each Other
55 Rules For Love – Rule #40 – Be Attentive And Understand What’s Not Said
55 Rules For Love – Rule #41 – Do At Least One Romantic And Thoughtful Thing Every Day
55 Rules For Love – Rule #42 – Take Picnics And Sleep Under The Stars
55 Rules For Love – Rule #43 – Don’t Just Speak About It, Show Love
55 Rules For Love – Rule #44 – Walk Together, Cook Together, Bathe Together, Read Together
55 Rules For Love – Rule #45 – Do Not Be Afraid, Love Requires Surrender
55 Rules For Love – Rule #46 – Be Loyal And Faithful
55 Rules For Love – Rule #47 – Trust
55 Rules For Love – Rule # 48 – Be Grateful
55 Rules For Love – Rule #49 – Fluidity Is Good, Accept Change
55 Rules For Love – Rule #50 – Don’t Sleep On A Fight
55 Rules For Love – Rule #51 – Don’t Cling To It, Know When To Let Go
55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Discover What Turns You Both On And Explore It
55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Make Love, But Also F*ck (Regularly)
55 Rules For Love – Rule #54 – Give And Receive Without Measure
55 Rules For Love – Rule #55 – Never Gamble With What You Can’t Afford To Lose
This is a great list Stephanie. I think we try to follow most of it, but it’s a good reminder to see it written down. Maggie
Thanks Maggie!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Yeah, I really like this list… makes a lot of sense. <3
Love this list! 🙂
It’s pretty comprehensive – simple – yet effective! 🙂 🙂 🙂
🙂
Wonderful , wonderful list!
<3 <3 <3
Agreed!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️