55 Rules For Love – Rule #30 – Instead of Power, Aim For Balance

Power Vs Control

My first thought on this rule is what is the difference between having power over someone vs having control over someone?

Google’s definition of power is, “the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.”

Google’s definition of control is, “the power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events.”

Therefore, according to these definitions, you have to have power over someone to have control over them.

Powerlessness Vs Empowerment

When I give my power away to another, I let that person’s beliefs and values dictate my actions.

I give my power away when I let someone else ruin my day or I feed into their guilt.

Basically, I don’t have boundaries, and everything outside of myself is responsible for everything miserable in my life; I feel powerless over my own life.

Empowerment is stepping into my life, and deciding how I want to live my life; honoring my values and morals.

I become the driver of my life, not someone else.

Power Over Each Other – Who is the Driver in the Relationship?

When I relate this pondering to my own marriage, it typically means:

  • One of us feels we’ve done something wrong, and then give our power away trying to make amends.
  • One of us doesn’t have a backbone and is obliging out of fear.
  • One of us expresses a vulnerability, then feel fearful, powerless as if we’ve given something of ourselves away – feeling exposed or open to ridicule or criticism.

All of the above are signs of a communication breakdown in our marriage, fear underlying and driving the relationship.

I Don’t Want Power Over My Husband

I don’t want to have power over my husband.

I don’t want to have power over him, to then control his actions.

This isn’t love.

How can there be balance in a relationship if one seeks power over the other?

How is that love?

Power Isn’t Love

Power over each other has no place in love. There can never be balance. This rule is the first one on the list that I struggle with – because power over the other has no place in love.

S, 🌻

Photo credits: Pinterest and Pinterest

About me: Stephanie Wells

I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.

55 Rules For Love:

55 Rules For Love – Rule #1 – When It Arrives, Cherish It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #2 – Whatever You Accept, You Will Get

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 3 – Understand That Love Is A Mirror – It Will Show Us Who We Are If We Allow It To

55 Rules For Love – Rule #4 – Only We Can Make Ourselves Happy, It Is Not The Other Person’s Responsibility

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 5 – Don’t Say Words With The Intent To Hurt

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 6 – Accept And Forgive Easily

55 Rules For Love – #7 – Don’t Be Scared To Disagree, It Is Healthy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #8 – Never Be Too Busy For Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #9 – Do Not Punish

55 Rules For Love – Rule #10 – Accept Honest Criticism, It Is Good For Us

55 Rules For Love – Rule #11 – Admit When You Are Wrong, Quickly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #12 – Support Each Other When The Going Gets Tough

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 13 – Live In The Moment – Be Present

55 Rules For Love – Rule #14 – Leave The Past Where It Belongs

55 Rules For Love – Rule #15 – Leave Drama Out Of It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #16 – Don’t Try To Control

55 Rules For Love – Rule #17 – Allow A Small Amount of Jealousy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons

55 Rules For Love – Rule #19 – Celebrate Differences

55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #21 – Listen Very Carefully

55 Rules For Love – Rule #22 – Don’t Judge

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 23 – Don’t Manipulate To Get Results

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 24 – Learn and Grow

55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #26 – Don’t Condemn Each Other’s Family and Friends

55 Rules For Love – Rule #27 – Lines, Flaws and Imperfections are Beautiful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #28 – Trust Your Instincts, But Don’t Be Paranoid

55 Rules For Love – Rule #29 – Don’t Compromise Your Morals And Values And Don’t Expect Them To Either

55 Rules For Love – Rule #30 – Instead of Power, Aim For Balance

2 Comments Add yours

  1. mama says:

    Stephanie, this is such a wise and true statement ❤️…
    “Power over each other has no place in love”.
    Relationships are work!
    Just Breath …
    The rewards are worth it. 👍
    Much love to you and your big heart👵🏻💞❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks mama!!!!! Much love to you, too!!!! 🌻💛🌻💛🌻

      Like

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