Power Vs Control
My first thought on this rule is what is the difference between having power over someone vs having control over someone?
Google’s definition of power is, “the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.”
Google’s definition of control is, “the power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events.”
Therefore, according to these definitions, you have to have power over someone to have control over them.
Powerlessness Vs Empowerment
When I give my power away to another, I let that person’s beliefs and values dictate my actions.
I give my power away when I let someone else ruin my day or I feed into their guilt.
Basically, I don’t have boundaries, and everything outside of myself is responsible for everything miserable in my life; I feel powerless over my own life.
Empowerment is stepping into my life, and deciding how I want to live my life; honoring my values and morals.
I become the driver of my life, not someone else.
Power Over Each Other – Who is the Driver in the Relationship?
When I relate this pondering to my own marriage, it typically means:
- One of us feels we’ve done something wrong, and then give our power away trying to make amends.
- One of us doesn’t have a backbone and is obliging out of fear.
- One of us expresses a vulnerability, then feel fearful, powerless as if we’ve given something of ourselves away – feeling exposed or open to ridicule or criticism.
All of the above are signs of a communication breakdown in our marriage, fear underlying and driving the relationship.
I Don’t Want Power Over My Husband
I don’t want to have power over my husband.
I don’t want to have power over him, to then control his actions.
This isn’t love.
How can there be balance in a relationship if one seeks power over the other?
How is that love?
Power Isn’t Love
Power over each other has no place in love. There can never be balance. This rule is the first one on the list that I struggle with – because power over the other has no place in love.
About me: Stephanie Wells
I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.