55 Rules For Love – Rule #26 – Don’t Condemn Each Other’s Family and Friends

Need Some Yoda Wisdom

This rule requires some serious Jedi wisdom, as navigating each other’s family and friends can, at times, be challenging.

Photo credit – Pinterest

Everyone Has An Opinion

Yes, we do. But are my opinions of my husband’s family and friends based on loving acceptance or from the lenses of my own issues and I’m projecting them?

Mind you, there may be behaviors of some family or friends that are toxic – and hopefully your spouse welcomes the opportunity for input on how to navigate challenging situations. This isn’t an opportunity to unleash your frustrations with colorful character assassinations that creates ill-will. This is an opportunity for peaceful, respectful solutions that deepens the connection between you.

Respect for your spouse’s feelings of their family and friends goes a long way.

Separate the Behavior From the Person

Gently and compassionately identifying the behavior of the family member or friend in question is a first step. You’re addressing a behavior – not the person as a whole.

Using “I” statements, to communicate how your spouse’s outdated dance with certain family and friends makes you feel, such as, “I feel really uncomfortable when….” or “I feel like my boundaries are being overstepped when..” is a softer approach, yet still may evoke defensiveness.

Your spouse may be defensive, for reasons you’re probably already aware of but your spouse isn’t willing to acknowledge, or perhaps they acknowledge but don’t want to talk about it. Fair enough.

Focus on Yourself

I only have control over myself. If I’m struggling with a family member or friend of my husband’s – this can be a wonderful life lesson on how to navigate through the struggle. It has been my experience, if I’m struggling with someone – typically I’m being triggered and can look within for a solution.

Be Kind

As best as you can, let your opinions of your spouse’s family and friends be remembered for acceptance and kindness. Underneath every person is a struggle we know nothing about.

S, 🌻

September, 2020 - Quatsino Sound, Vancouver Island, British Columbia - Happy fishermen!!!

About me: Stephanie Wells

I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.

55 Rules For Love:

55 Rules For Love – Rule #1 – When It Arrives, Cherish It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #2 – Whatever You Accept, You Will Get

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 3 – Understand That Love Is A Mirror – It Will Show Us Who We Are If We Allow It To

55 Rules For Love – Rule #4 – Only We Can Make Ourselves Happy, It Is Not The Other Person’s Responsibility

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 5 – Don’t Say Words With The Intent To Hurt

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 6 – Accept And Forgive Easily

55 Rules For Love – #7 – Don’t Be Scared To Disagree, It Is Healthy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #8 – Never Be Too Busy For Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #9 – Do Not Punish

55 Rules For Love – Rule #10 – Accept Honest Criticism, It Is Good For Us

55 Rules For Love – Rule #11 – Admit When You Are Wrong, Quickly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #12 – Support Each Other When The Going Gets Tough

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 13 – Live In The Moment – Be Present

55 Rules For Love – Rule #14 – Leave The Past Where It Belongs

55 Rules For Love – Rule #15 – Leave Drama Out Of It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #16 – Don’t Try To Control

55 Rules For Love – Rule #17 – Allow A Small Amount of Jealousy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons

55 Rules For Love – Rule #19 – Celebrate Differences

55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #21 – Listen Very Carefully

55 Rules For Love – Rule #22 – Don’t Judge

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 23 – Don’t Manipulate To Get Results

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 24 – Learn and Grow

55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #26 – Don’t Condemn Each Other’s Family and Friends

55 Rules For Love – Rule #27 – Lines, Flaws and Imperfections are Beautiful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #28 – Trust Your Instincts, But Don’t Be Paranoid

55 Rules For Love – Rule #29 – Don’t Compromise Your Morals And Values And Don’t Expect Them To Either

6 Comments Add yours

  1. mama says:

    Stephanie, there is no greater truth in life than what you wrote as your last line in this blog…👵🏻💜🥰

    💔 ” Underneath every person is a struggle we know nothing about”💔

    There is something I read once that says….during meditation🙏

    ” Something’s we have no right to know, …
    Go where you will…you will find this so”

    Love the picture of You & Michael!💞

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks mama!!!

      Nice quote, too!!! 🌻💛🥰🌻

      Like

  2. Rule number 8 is my favourite. Being able to let go is the key to happiness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for checking out my Rules for Love! Letting go is so important! Agreed! 🌻☮️

      Like

  3. Manik Bal says:

    I like the advice of being kind. It is really the glue to most long lasting relationships.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Agreed! Thank you for your comment! There is a saying that says something like – if you can’t be right – be kind! ☮️🌻

      Liked by 1 person

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