55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other

Opposites attract.

The differences that draw a couple together can become a source of many disagreements later in the relationship, if these differences are not embraced.

However, there always has to be space to grow and learn as a couple embraces their differences along their path of personal growth and mutual respect. Complacency is certain death to any relationship.

Trying to change the other person is not respectful, not growing and learning together, nor is it accepting and embracing your differences.

Captain Kirk and Spock

There are fundamental behaviors that navigate how we go about our lives – reflecting our personality.

For example, I am very expressive, emotional and wear my heart on my sleeve. My husband is logical, rational and keeps his heart tucked in a safe place. I’m Captain Kirk – impulsive and go with my gut. My husband is Spock who is able to keep his emotions out of a situation and assess with logic.

I can’t change my husband from his Spock style of navigating life to be more like my Captain Kirk way, and vice versa. Trust me, we’ve tried to change each other to be more like the other – and this only creates hurtful feelings of non-acceptance between us.

However, I am learning to be better at regulating my emotions and my husband is learning to recognize emotions are as important as logic. We are growing and learning – not forcing each other to change. Big difference.

Can’t Force Change

I can’t force my husband to change, just like he can’t force me to change. Resentments, hurt and anger are a consequence of this. Time, acceptance, communication, and a deep commitment to each other and our marriage, are key ingredients to how we navigate and grow together. To bring out the best in each other, help each other and make the best of our differences. Be a team!

Captain Kirk and Spock make a great team. They don’t change each other – they work together – making the best of each other’s differences to boldly go where no man has gone before. Yet, Spock has learned to embrace his humanness – his emotions and Kirk has at times controlled his emotional impulses because of Spock’s logic – averting certain disaster.

May you live long and prosper, and try not to change each each other!

S, 🌻

About me: Stephanie Wells

I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.

55 Rules For Love:

55 Rules For Love – Rule #1 – When It Arrives, Cherish It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #2 – Whatever You Accept, You Will Get

55 Rules For Love – Rule #3 – Understand That Love Is A Mirror – It Will Show Us Who We Are If We Allow It To

55 Rules For Love – Rule #4 – Only We Can Make Ourselves Happy, It Is Not The Other Person’s Responsibility

55 Rules For Love – Rule #5 – Don’t Say Words With The Intent To Hurt

55 Rules For Love – Rule #6 – Accept And Forgive Easily

55 Rules For Love – Rule #7 – Don’t Be Scared To Disagree, It Is Healthy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #8 – Never Be Too Busy For Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #9 – Do Not Punish

55 Rules For Love – Rule #10 – Accept Honest Criticism, It Is Good For Us

55 Rules For Love – Rule #11 – Admit When You Are Wrong, Quickly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #12 – Support Each Other When The Going Gets Tough

55 Rules For Love – Rule #13 – Live In The Moment – Be Present

55 Rules For Love – Rule #14 – Leave The Past Where It Belongs

55 Rules For Love – Rule #15 – Leave Drama Out Of It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #16 – Don’t Try To Control

55 Rules For Love – Rule #17 – Allow A Small Amount of Jealousy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons

55 Rules For Love – Rule #19 – Celebrate Differences

55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #21 – Listen Very Carefully

55 Rules For Love – Rule #22 – Don’t Judge

55 Rules For Love – Rule #23 – Don’t Manipulate To Get Results

55 Rules For Love – Rule #24 – Learn and Grow

55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Sunith says:

    I am Spock and She’s 😀 the captain

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Greetings Stephanie.
    Great advice as always.
    Cheers,
    Laurence.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Laurence! I hope you’re having a joyful summer! 🌻

      Like

      1. Thanks Joyful Stephanie,
        Likewise – hope summer is good for you.
        The weather in England is awesome at the moment.
        It is just like being in the desert bit without the camels – but never mind I have my cats instead.
        Have a good one.
        Laurence.

        Like

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