This is the rule that started the ball rolling with this entire 55 Rules for Love series.

During a recent trip to Mexico, my husband and I were struggling with a few of our differences.

These struggles inspired me to review a list of love rules called 55 Rules For Love that Michel and I read together when we first met, 6 years ago.

Here is the link to my first blog in this 55 Rules For Love series that introduces the list:

Study Of “The 55 Rules For Love”

Opposites Attract

Many books and movies, within a variety of genres, have exampled opposites attracting.

Star Wars archetype couple, Han and Leia, model this perfectly!

It is HOW we handle our differences that paves either a smooth or bumpy road together.

I believe by celebrating our differences, this is the HOW to navigating a smoother road together.

To celebrate each other’s differences, we have to clearly see and accept the reality each other’s personality; and understand how this benefits the marriage, rather than hinders it.

Seeing The Reality

My husband is opposite from me in a few ways. He is quietly contemplative, and stoic. I am overtly contemplative and expressive. I am quick to worry and reactive. He doesn’t seem to worry and takes everything in stride. I work at one task at a time to completion, then start the next. My husband has five tasks on the go, hops back and forth from each, mostly to completion. I am highly organized and list driven. My husband keeps a mental list and sees organization in his many piles of paperwork. My husband is curious and has an insatiable appetite for learning. I am easily overwhelmed and learn one new thing at a time.

Sometimes, our patience is tested. An example would be if I am worried about something and he doesn’t seem bothered by it. This stresses me out because I think he isn’t taking something seriously enough. His patience is tested when I am worried about something, creating stressful energy around us, when he doesn’t see the need to worry.

If both of us were a worry-wart like I am, we’d trigger each other, get caught up in a panic loop and always be stressed over something!

If both of us were as laid back as my husband, and didn’t think ahead of possible issues, possible “what-ifs”, troubleshooting as I like to call it, then we would never be prepared.

Finding Balance

Yes, “balance” is an overused word, but very much needed when opposites attract! Finding this balance is very much like being on a seesaw. Some days are up, some days are down. Sometimes we’re finding just the right amount of balance.

Celebrating Our Marriage

For me, finding this balance in our marriage has been seeing how beneficial my husband’s personalty traits are to himself and our marriage, are that are opposite from mine. And vice versa. How my personality traits, that are opposite from him, benefit both himself and our marriage.

But, this isn’t always easy!

Recently, I started celebrating our differences with daily emails to my husband, indicating a difference between us and how that benefited both me as a person and our marriage. These emails, however, were sometimes challenging as we re-recognized how some differences between us were difficult to navigate through. This opened up deeper, more difficult, honest conversations. Happily, these conversations eventually evolved into celebrating our marriage.

There are still hills and valleys ahead of us, that may yet reveal more differences ahead.

Time Heals All

I believe with more time and history a marriage has, along with both embracing each other’s differences and a continued commitment of a deepening love, these differences become a strong anchor through the hills and valleys of life you face together.

S, ❤️

Originally published: April 10th, 2020

55 Rules For Love:

Study Of “The 55 Rules For Love”

55 Rules For Love – Rule #1 – When It Arrives, Cherish It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #2 – Whatever You Accept, You Will Get

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 3 – Understand That Love Is A Mirror – It Will Show Us Who We Are If We Allow It To

55 Rules For Love – Rule #4 – Only We Can Make Ourselves Happy, It Is Not The Other Person’s Responsibility

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 5 – Don’t Say Words With The Intent To Hurt

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 6 – Accept And Forgive Easily

55 Rules For Love – Rule #7 – Don’t Be Scared To Disagree, It Is Healthy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #8 – Never Be Too Busy For Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #9 – Do Not Punish

55 Rules For Love – Rule #10 – Accept Honest Criticism, It Is Good For Us

55 Rules For Love – Rule #11 – Admit When You Are Wrong, Quickly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #12 – Support Each Other When The Going Gets Tough

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 13 – Live In The Moment – Be Present

55 Rules For Love – Rule #14 – Leave The Past Where It Belongs

55 Rules For Love – Rule #15 – Leave Drama Out Of It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #16 – Don’t Try To Control

55 Rules For Love – Rule #17 – Allow A Small Amount of Jealousy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons

55 Rules For Love – Rule #19 – Celebrate Differences

55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #21 – Listen Very Carefully

55 Rules For Love – Rule #22 – Don’t Judge

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 23 – Don’t Manipulate To Get Results

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 24 – Learn and Grow

55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #26 – Don’t Condemn Each Other’s Family and Friends

55 Rules For Love – Rule #27 – Lines, Flaws and Imperfections are Beautiful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #28 – Trust Your Instincts, But Don’t Be Paranoid

55 Rules For Love – Rule #29 – Don’t Compromise Your Morals And Values And Don’t Expect Them To Either

55 Rules For Love – Rule #30 – Instead of Power, Aim For Balance

55 Rules for Love – Rule #31 – Space Is Needed To Breathe And To Grow

55 Rules for Love – Rule #32 – Accept That You Are Both Unique – Never Compare

55 Rules For Love – Rule #33 – Have Fun, Laugh and Play – A Lot

55 Rules For Love – Rule #34 – Be Each Other’s Best Friend

55 Rules For Love – Rule #35 – Don’t Play Mind Games

55 Rules For Love – Rule #36 – Do Not Carelessly Throw Away Love

55 Rules For Love – Rule #37 – Don’t Waste Energy With Negative Thoughts

55 Rules For Love – Rule #38 – Compliment Often

55 Rules For Love – Rule #39 – Discover Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #40 – Be Attentive And Understand What’s Not Said

55 Rules For Love – Rule #41 – Do At Least One Romantic And Thoughtful Thing Every Day

55 Rules For Love – Rule #42 – Take Picnics And Sleep Under The Stars

55 Rules For Love – Rule #43 – Don’t Just Speak About It, Show Love

55 Rules For Love – Rule #44 – Walk Together, Cook Together, Bathe Together, Read Together

55 Rules For Love – Rule #45 – Do Not Be Afraid, Love Requires Surrender

55 Rules For Love – Rule #46 – Be Loyal And Faithful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #47 – Trust

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 48 – Be Grateful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #49 – Fluidity Is Good, Accept Change

55 Rules For Love – Rule #50 – Don’t Sleep On A Fight

55 Rules For Love – Rule #51 – Don’t Cling To It, Know When To Let Go

55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Discover What Turns You Both On And Explore It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Make Love, But Also F*ck (Regularly)

55 Rules For Love – Rule #54 – Give And Receive Without Measure

55 Rules For Love – Rule #55 – Never Gamble With What You Can’t Afford To Lose