55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons

Photo Credit – Whisper.ch

Types of Comparisons

Comparisons are sure death to the relationship. There are, in my thoughts, three ways to compare:

  • Comparing your marriage to another couple’s seemingly “perfect” marriage
  • Comparing yourself to your spouse’s past partners
  • Comparing your current partner to a partner of yours in the past

My Musings On This…

I have struggled with comparing myself to others for many years, because of chronic self-doubt and low self-confidence. However, my self-doubt has gradually started to diminish and my self-confidence has grown, especially during this 50th year of my life.

During these days of the COVID-19 pandemic, I find myself tired out for many reasons.

New challenges present themselves daily, allowing for many moments that call upon my character to either sink or swim in my mindset of adapting.

It is here where I may fall into the trap of comparing, wondering if others are handling this pandemic better than I.

It is here, during these times of finding the strength to adapt to a pandemic, that comparing myself of any kind kills my soul.

While these musings do not directly link to the comparisons that can happen in a marriage, I guess my underlying message is that comparison of any kind kills.

When a comparison within myself starts, it kills my soul, my spirit, my very personality and then starts to kill all that is beautiful within me and around me.

Beacon of Courage and Hope During These Dark Days

As I work really hard to stay away from any type of comparisons, both personally and in my marriage, I will allow my personality to shine bright with courage and confidence, especially during this COVID-19 pandemic.

My confidence and courage will deepen my connection to my husband and perhaps join a worldwide beacon of courage and hope during this pandemic.

Originally published: March 29th, 2020

S, ❤️

About me: Stephanie Wells

I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.

55 Rules For Love:

Study Of “The 55 Rules For Love”

55 Rules For Love – Rule #1 – When It Arrives, Cherish It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #2 – Whatever You Accept, You Will Get

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 3 – Understand That Love Is A Mirror – It Will Show Us Who We Are If We Allow It To

55 Rules For Love – Rule #4 – Only We Can Make Ourselves Happy, It Is Not The Other Person’s Responsibility

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 5 – Don’t Say Words With The Intent To Hurt

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 6 – Accept And Forgive Easily

55 Rules For Love – Rule #7 – Don’t Be Scared To Disagree, It Is Healthy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #8 – Never Be Too Busy For Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #9 – Do Not Punish

55 Rules For Love – Rule #10 – Accept Honest Criticism, It Is Good For Us

55 Rules For Love – Rule #11 – Admit When You Are Wrong, Quickly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #12 – Support Each Other When The Going Gets Tough

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 13 – Live In The Moment – Be Present

55 Rules For Love – Rule #14 – Leave The Past Where It Belongs

55 Rules For Love – Rule #15 – Leave Drama Out Of It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #16 – Don’t Try To Control

55 Rules For Love – Rule #17 – Allow A Small Amount of Jealousy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons

55 Rules For Love – Rule #19 – Celebrate Differences

55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #21 – Listen Very Carefully

55 Rules For Love – Rule #22 – Don’t Judge

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 23 – Don’t Manipulate To Get Results

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 24 – Learn and Grow

55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #26 – Don’t Condemn Each Other’s Family and Friends

55 Rules For Love – Rule #27 – Lines, Flaws and Imperfections are Beautiful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #28 – Trust Your Instincts, But Don’t Be Paranoid

55 Rules For Love – Rule #29 – Don’t Compromise Your Morals And Values And Don’t Expect Them To Either

55 Rules For Love – Rule #30 – Instead of Power, Aim For Balance

55 Rules for Love – Rule #31 – Space Is Needed To Breathe And To Grow

55 Rules for Love – Rule #32 – Accept That You Are Both Unique – Never Compare

55 Rules For Love – Rule #33 – Have Fun, Laugh and Play – A Lot

55 Rules For Love – Rule #34 – Be Each Other’s Best Friend

55 Rules For Love – Rule #35 – Don’t Play Mind Games

55 Rules For Love – Rule #36 – Do Not Carelessly Throw Away Love

55 Rules For Love – Rule #37 – Don’t Waste Energy With Negative Thoughts

55 Rules For Love – Rule #38 – Compliment Often

55 Rules For Love – Rule #39 – Discover Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #40 – Be Attentive And Understand What’s Not Said

55 Rules For Love – Rule #41 – Do At Least One Romantic And Thoughtful Thing Every Day

55 Rules For Love – Rule #42 – Take Picnics And Sleep Under The Stars

55 Rules For Love – Rule #43 – Don’t Just Speak About It, Show Love

55 Rules For Love – Rule #44 – Walk Together, Cook Together, Bathe Together, Read Together

55 Rules For Love – Rule #45 – Do Not Be Afraid, Love Requires Surrender

55 Rules For Love – Rule #46 – Be Loyal And Faithful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #47 – Trust

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 48 – Be Grateful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #49 – Fluidity Is Good, Accept Change

55 Rules For Love – Rule #50 – Don’t Sleep On A Fight

55 Rules For Love – Rule #51 – Don’t Cling To It, Know When To Let Go

55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Discover What Turns You Both On And Explore It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Make Love, But Also F*ck (Regularly)

55 Rules For Love – Rule #54 – Give And Receive Without Measure

55 Rules For Love – Rule #55 – Never Gamble With What You Can’t Afford To Lose

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Margie says:

    I find I can always learn something from you and it’s always a good thing!
    Thanks Stephanie, you are a beacon of light!
    <3 <3 <3

    1. Thank you Margie!!! My light is joining with your light and will connect to the worldwide energy flow of those illuminating hope and courage during these dark days… <3 <3 <3

      1. Margie says:

        Okay, Stephanie, it’s a deal!
        Be well dear one and be safe!
        <3 <3 <3

      2. <3 <3 <3

  2. mama says:

    If you in your 50th year have come to realize not to compare … Then you have accomplished what I have seen in you all along. You are unique … ❤️❤️❤️

    1. Thank you mama!!! Love you!! ❤️❤️❤️

Leave a Reply