This morning I’m thinking about rejuvenation, transformation, healing and shedding old skin.

I’ve been healing, consciously working on myself since I was 27 years old. I know this because when I was 27 years old, I checked myself into a 28 day program for alcohol addiction. Rehab was the first time I’d ever heard about self-healing and self-love. This work on myself hasn’t been an every day thing since then – it has happened in cycles.

What is coming up for me this morning is that this cycle of transformation has an element of magic to it. It’s not all hard inner-work and pain. There is this silver lining, a transformation so profound yet so absolutely simple: I am coming home to myself. My authentic self.

I’m sure I’ve thought I’ve been here, reached my authentic self, many times over the years. But my one clue that I hadn’t quite reached me yet was the underlying anxiety that permeated all aspects of my life.

Suddenly, I find myself opening up more than I anticipated on writing about this morning, and I am on a time limit as I have to start getting ready for work!

There are a few reasons why I feel like I have come to a place of reaching my authentic self: I have security/stability – my basic needs are met – Maslow’s hierarchy so to speak. I have the emotional support of a loving husband/life partner who is loving me in a way that shows me I am worthy to love myself (such a dynamic topic!). Never underestimate the power of emotional support and love! However, this love did not magically happen between us, our love has grown, deepened, and matured because of our commitment to each other and a lot of hard work during tough times! Lastly, I have a future, I’m planning a future. An exciting future with a man I love with every fiber of my being. This is a first for me. My history has been living my life by the seat of my pants. On impulse. I just went with life. Moment by moment.

So here I sit, in this little cabin in the woods for the winter….all nestled in for a season of transformation…back to me! But I was always me, on a journey to a better me…the best me!!!

Just for today, I will not worry…I am safe, I am loved.

S, ❤️