Personal Development – A Wild Woman’s Journey With Drinking and Hedonism While Walking the Spiritual Path

I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing.

I’m also a wild woman.

I call myself a wild woman because I love to drink, party and completely let loose; to indulge in the pleasures of life!

Moderation is not a word that describes me.  

Pacing myself is not a word that describes me either.  I’m either all in or all out.  I’m never a ‘one glass of wine’ kinda gal.

Before we repatriated back to Canada and living in Qatar, I had 10 months of not drinking under my belt. That was SO MUCH easier to maintain because alcohol is not a part of the Middle Eastern culture like it is in Canada.

When we moved back to Canada, I started drinking again. Why? I craved it! Beer and wine was all around me! Craft beers. Wineries and vineyards. Trendy restaurants and pubs with lively outdoor patios hosting folks drinking tall, cold glasses of beer on a hot summer day!

As a result, my wild side exploded and grabbed the reins…and I welcomed her back with open arms. Those 10 months of not drinking sometimes felt like I was trying to be someone I’m not.  I really wanted to be that way – clean and pure – but a MAJOR part of me was repressed – and had to be – as I was drinking too much and had to stop.

But, welcoming her back has also made my transition back to Reiki and yoga difficult.


This Reiki Master Teacher’s Dilemma

Because it felt (and always has) that to walk a spiritual path, I had to repress my wild side – even get rid of it – to be able to do so. To walk a spiritual path means to live an aesthetic life; modeling the principals, aspects and elements of a Reiki Master Teacher.

How very boring! I want hedonism, adventures, and crazy parties!

I also want solitude and peace; times of quiet inner reflection. I want my heart as my guide as I spread love and joy to all those around me. To connect to both my inner Divine presence and the conscious Divine collective while helping others heal and find their inner truth in my role as a Reiki Master Teacher.

But, I feel like a fraud. A complete contradiction. How can a woman who loves to pound back cold beer with the best of them while laughing out loud and acting silly also be a model Reiki Master Teacher who is following the 5 Principles, 4 Aspects and 9 Elements of Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki?

This is my dilemma? How do I resolve this?

Angel on One Shoulder, Devil on The Other

How do I be okay with the metaphorical angel who sits on one shoulder telling me to be pure and balanced while the devil sits on the other shoulder telling me to let loose and party?

Angel Side – Mararikulam North, Kerala, India – Evening yoga class at Carnoustie Ayurveda & Wellness Resort

2019 - March - Mararikulam North, Kerala, India - Evening yoga class at Carnoustie Ayurveda & Wellness Resort

Devil Side – Red Light District, Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands – Enjoying a marijuana joint! I’m more of a wine drinker, I don’t really like weed – but this was fun!! When in Amsterdam…. hee hee!!  

Christmas, 2017 - Red Light District, Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands - Enjoying a marijuana joint!    

I Don’t Have an Answer…

Not yet.

I’ve written this blog as a prelude, an introduction to my head space as I resettle into my Reiki practice and yoga studies here in Canada. As I study and start to practice Reiki and yoga again, I will blog as a way to process my journey and create a resource for my future Reiki clients and students as well as for my future Yoga for Stress Management classes.

As I further my spiritual journey while studying, practicing and blogging about Reiki and yoga…

I believe I will find my angel and devil answer along the way…

S, 💛

About me: Stephanie Wells

I’m a Reiki Master Teacher of Usui Shiki Ryoho – the Usui System of Natural Healing. I was attuned in Levels I, II & IIIA in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. During a 6 week stay in Mararikulam North, Kerala, India I was reattuned in Levels I, II, & IIIA as well as acquiring my Level IIIB Master Teacher attunement.

Blogs About My Struggles With Alcohol

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Brett says:

    Hi, Stephanie, I love your realness. We’re all in process. Keep going. All the best.

    1. Thank you so much Brett! Same to you, in your process as we all try and find our way! 🙂

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