The Many Layers of Anxiety

I’ve blogged about having anxiety and depression and managing both. I’ve blogged about how my anxiety has shifted and changed over the years, meaning personal growth to overcome one area of anxiety to then bring forth another layer. How sometimes medication works, like it is now and other times it has not because of overmedication or misdiagnosis. How my anxiety increases my struggles with addiction resulting in higher anxiety creating a loop within each other.

People Scare Me

Mindfulness, healthy diet, exercise, massage and Reiki help to ground me.  But, for me, right now, where my anxiety most shows itself is around people. When I’m alone, no anxiety.  Put people near me – anxiety.  People scare me.  I manage it.  I reach out – a bit.  I connect – a bit. But fear always lingers beneath, and eventually I pull away and run.

Tired of Anxiety…

This debilitating anxiety makes personal connections with others so difficult!!  Anxiety can appear as being self-absorbed and self-centered – because it is so distracting as I’m all up in my head – trying to manage it! Some days while I’m out in the world, it takes everything I have to get past my anxious thoughts, triggered by my fear of people. While I’m managing this fear I still have to manage what it is I’m doing and it is nearly impossible to take in what is happening around me, let alone have a meaningful conversation and connect with others.

As I slowly approach my 50th birthday, I find myself tired of anxiety.  Tired of managing it.  Tired of letting it get the best of me.  Especially this people anxiety!!!!!

Today is a new day…

S, 🌻