This is a difficult blog to start.  This is one that had to wait until my heart was ready.  My heart still isn’t quite ready, but sometimes with grief, going through it is the only way.

On February 18th, 2018 my beloved dog Marlow, my loyal companion for 14 years died in my arms.  We had to make the difficult decision, which wasn’t really difficult because she deteriorated so quickly, painful decision is more like it….of euthanasia.  This wasn’t my first time through this unbearable life moment.  I had two other dogs that I had to make the same decision with.  Mookie was 14 years old with sudden internal hemorrhaging, she died in my arms.  Garbo had cancer.  7 years old.  Her pain was too much.  She died in my arms.  Marlow’s death wasn’t any easier.  My heart felt like it was aching in actual physical pain when I handed her lifeless body to the vet to take her away to, like Mookie and Garbo, be cremated.

Unknowing at the time, but these are the last pictures of Marlow I took, taken February 9th.  She started to get sick a few days after this.  She died 9 days later.  I did take a few pictures of her while we were in the vet hospital together.  But I deleted those because she was wrapped up in her blanket.  Very sick.  Those pictures were too painful to keep.fullsizeoutput_6489

Marlow loved laying in the sun, snuggling, sleeping, food and when she was younger, running free!fullsizeoutput_6463

Before we moved to the Middle East, Marlow used to hang out at the sea kayaking base where I worked, while I took tours out on the water.  Here she is with me before I took a group out for a morning tour!13086641_113521315720320_5956501689098345428_o

What has been easier this time is the acceptance of death.  The learning of letting go.  Maybe it is my age?  Maybe because recently there has been so much death around me.  Two students I support each lost a grandparent within a week of each other.  My husband recently lost his mother.  His father is dying of cancer.  I remember my mother once saying something like being at an age when parents start dying.  Death seems to be all around you.  I’m in that time.

Marlow, like Mookie and Garbo, is forever in my heart.  At one time, all three were with me. Mookie was 13 years old.  Garbo and Marlow puppies.  My original three.  They’re all gone now.  At the Rainbow Bridge……waiting for me…………..

I miss her so much…… ❤️❤️❤️

With a deeply sad heart,

Stephanie….. 💔

Marlow, by Erin Laende:


12 Comments Add yours

  1. Tish Smith says:

    Sorry for your loss Stephanie. Marlowe was so special and so loved. I am happy to hear that Fizal found you. Smart and lucky dog.

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    1. Thank you so much Tish…….love you lots… <3 <3 <3

  2. Wanda says:

    So sorry to hear about the loss of Marlow A loss of of a much loved pet is never easy they are our children. Thinking of you and thanking you for sharing your beautiful memories. *hugs*💞

    1. Thank you so much Wanda for your beautiful, supportive words……. <3 <3 <3

  3. Becky says:

    Hi Steph I am so very sorry for your loss of Marlow .xox

    1. Thank you Becky……. xoxo <3 <3 <3

  4. Theresa Jennings says:

    so sorry to hear about Marlow 🙁 Loss of a pet is truly a difficult time. Fizal is adorable <3 Life seems to be treating you well, Stephanie, I'm so happy for you!


    1. Thank you Theresa……. xoxo <3 <3 <3

  5. Stephanie, what a beautiful tribute to a loyal, loving friend who’s love for you was undeniable. From the moment Marlow came into our lives with all her funny little quirks we all grew to love her.😢Now Fizal has moved in to a loving foster-family home… You have such a beautiful heart. Love ya lot kiddo … mama ❤️❤️❤️

    1. Thanks mama!!! Love ya lots too!!! <3 <3 <3

  6. Margie says:

    Dear Stephanie, Marlow was so beautiful and I know you will always carry the beautiful memories you have of her in your heart!
    Such a beautiful tribute!
    Sending love <3 <3 <3

    1. Thank you Margie!! Marlow was my heart… I still miss her, but my heart doesn’t ache when I think of her now…my heart feels peace…. ❤️❤️❤️

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