We’ve heard from so many sources such as self-help books, meditation classes, mindfulness courses, motivational speakers, yoga classes and the like telling us that the right now, being in the present moment is living.
No, I don’t mean you have to wait in line to be the next one to step up to the counter to get your happiness. What I’m referring to is that moment while I’m waiting in the queue, looking around, absently glancing at my phone, impatiently checking the time on my watch that I already know because I just looked at my phone, looking down at my shoes, shifting my weight from one foot to the other, then checking again to see if I’m any closer to the front of the lineup….this is me living the good old days. This is life. This is my life. My life, where I create, I feel, I choose, or I notice happiness within while doing something as simple, as ordinary as waiting in the queue.
Maybe because I’m approaching 50? Maybe because I’m in menopause? Maybe because I seem to notice that I’m starting to look my age in pictures, meaning for the first time in my life I see my youthful looks slipping away? Maybe because I’m on the right dosage of anti-depressants? Maybe because I finally am truly happy in my life and I know that there isn’t anything or anyone to be worried about or scared of anymore?
I just notice that recently I get these amazing moments of happiness and peace and absolute awareness of my surroundings more so than I ever have had in my life. This happens in the queue in the grocery store, while crossing a street, putting on my shoes, or walking to the toilet at work. Just random moments where my mind stops assaulting me and my life appears before my eyes.
Is this a reward of growing old? Is this that point in my life where I’ve lived long enough that all the typical angsts of youth disappear; this being the reward of the decades of hard work through the roller coaster ride of life that has got me to where I am today?
Perhaps. Or maybe because I’m on the right dosage of anti-depressants and my brain chemistry is at optimal performance.
These increasing moments of pure happiness, peace and absolute awareness of my surroundings result in love radiating from my heart. I see the beauty in all that is around me.
Menopause or medication or getting older or not, it’s not a bad place to be…….
S, xo