I just can’t seem to consistently feel good, feel worthy, feel value about myself.
What I’m about to say isn’t anything new. I’ve heard what I’m about to say so many times in so many different ways, but I see now that is really has gotten into my psyche.
Everyday when I open my eyes and connect with the world, the world inundates me with media, pictures, opinions, values and perspectives on what is right and what is wrong with all aspects of living. Period.
I think this overstimulation of so many choices and opinions of how I should live my life has taught me to subconsciously compare myself and lesson my own value.
Again, nothing new.
I don’t like it. It seems that comparing myself has seeped into my automatic way of thinking and self-doubt in inevitable when one day something is right and the next day it is wrong.
The world, the population – everything is just so much. There is just SO MUCH everywhere!!! How can I possibly connect to my own value when there is such a blaring volume of SO MUCH in my face, everyday. SO MUCH of what is the right way to live, SO MUCH of what is the wrong way to exist.
How do I see my own uniqueness when I am one of billions of people in a world of SO MUCH?
I know there is an entire world out there of opinions and beliefs of how I can honour my own uniqueness, have confidence in my own value and find my way in a world of SO MUCH.
But, for today, I am simply going to observe all the TOO MUCH around me and try not to let it in.
2 Comments Add yours
My dearest Stephanie, just read your last post.
It is no small wonder you are spinning your wheels.
Leaving Nova Scotia and going into a place where the standard of living, Muslim laws, divisions in classes, some poor to unimaginable wealth, meeting people from different parts of the world ( each with their own ways of living and coping) and toss in extreme weather makes for quite the mixed salad.
How could you ever feel any different in such a place. Just when you think you have it nailed down, you are faced with something new tossed in the salad!
I cannot even begin to imagine the “TOO MUCH” you have experienced since living in Doha.
Stephanie, no matter who we are there will always be people with more and less than you have and every person will have their own idea on “everything” which may or may not be the same as you…
All you can do is set standards and limitations for yourself and hold firm to them.
Remember you are unique with your own set of standards and your own moral compass.
Rules “you” live by that sustain you as you see the ‘’TOO MUCH’’ in the mixed salad that surrounds you.
Never let anyone or anything change you.
You closed your post on a positive note…good for you!!! Observe what surrounds you, and just keep yourself grounded in the wonderful person you are.
Love you lots, just as you are…
What your momma said! Train that voice inside your head. Many of the thoughts your are struggling with are simply that.- thoughts. Stick to your centre and you will stay true to yourself. What your mom said is so true- there is always someone with something that makes us feel insecure. Unfortunately I think this is especially true for women. You are smart and beautiful and kind and oh so much fun. Celebrate yourself. xo Linda